What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
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