I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.