How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Go to BabaMail
