My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
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