What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
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