A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
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