A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Go to BabaMail
