What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
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