How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
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