I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
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