If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.