Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Go to BabaMail
