Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
I General Lee do not find punny history jokes about the Civil War funny.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
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