Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
To get to the other tide.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
I spilled some acid on my aluminum fork and it dissolved…
but I didn’t mean to! It was an oxidant.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
I studied archeology
Now my life is in ruins.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Before America was founded, the idea of a democratic nation in the New World was unPresidented.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
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