How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant.
Its called Eel-on Musk.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Why did the electrical cords break up?
There was no spark between them.
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