At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
Did you hear about the urologist who became an aerospace engineer?
He developed an incontinental ballistic missile.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...
But graphing is where I draw the line!
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Classical conditioning.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
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