What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
Some people think nuclear physics is interesting.
Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
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