A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
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