What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
All farts...are laughing gas.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
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