What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
All farts...are laughing gas.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
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