My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
All farts...are laughing gas.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
Go to BabaMail
