What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Go to BabaMail
