A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.