Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
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