Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
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