What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
You mermake me happy.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Don't fork-get your manners.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Wish upon a starfish.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Fairies just spell trouble.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
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