What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
I think you're mer-mazing.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
You really mermaid my day.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Long time no sea.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
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