Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
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