What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
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