A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
You mermaid to go far.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
Long time no sea.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Fairies just spell trouble.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.