What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
All stereos are so typical.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
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