What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
All stereos are so typical.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
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