What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.