How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
All stereos are so typical.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
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