Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
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