C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
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