What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
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