Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
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