Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
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