Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Go to BabaMail
