Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Go to BabaMail
