What’s the best dessert to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy cake!
I’m feelin’ pine.
We have great chemis-tree.
What should you get Lassie, the star of the hit TV show, for Valentine's Day?
A cauliflower.
Was a bit lonely by myself at home last night on Valentine's Day so I decided to make my own bread.
I was feeling quite kneady
"Eggs-cuse me."
But wait—there’s myrrh.
Birch, please.
Don’t give into beer pressure.
I fence-y you.
I'm Claus-trophobic.
Let’s have a shamrockin’ good time tonight!
What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses.
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
Shake your shamrocks.
You’re as sweet as Pi.
Don't get caught elvesdropping on Santa!
“Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.”
Why are Catholics the best runners during the Easter season?
They fast during Lent!
How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? By icicle.
The Christmas alphabet has noel.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
"No eggs-cuses."
Cheesy Valentines Day Sayings
Take a pitcher. It'll last longer.
There’s no reason to wine about you.
You’re a cutie 3.14159265359
I’m elf-taught.
Yoda one for me!
"An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare."
How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
Lots of eggs-ercise!
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
“Have your elf a merry little Christmas.”
You’ll be Dublin your fortune soon.
What do you call a party for snowmen? A snowball.
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
From my head tomatoes, I love you bunches.
“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
Thank you for making our relationship sweet rather than a rocky road.
Fir sure.
She has high elf-esteem.
“If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.”
Why did the Easter Bunny go to the doctor?
It was time for his annual eggzam.
I wood never leaf you.
I think I found my perfect match
As it snow happens.
Sips getting real.
"Some bunny loves you."
Your love is like vodka. You’re worth the chase.