My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
Birch, please.
"You're poaching all my best yolks."
"I'm dyeing to know what's up."
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
Are you a lightbulb? Because you turn me on.
Who’s your paddy?
There’s no reason to wine about you.
"Just don't carrot all."
“Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.”
Are you a defibrillator? Because you are sending shocks to my heart.
Say it ain’t snow.
What did one lightbulb say to the other lightbulb on Valentine’s Day?
I love you watts.
“A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”
I'm Claus-trophobic.
Don’t worry, beer happy.
Why did the Easter Bunny go to the doctor?
It was time for his annual eggzam.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
You're acute Valentine.
What’s the opposite of Easter?
Wester
“What would you get if you ate the Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.”
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy
What did the arsonist do on Valentine's day?
He met his match.
Love at frost sight!
"Happy Easter to all my peeps."
What’s the best dessert to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy cake!
Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
Snow thank you.
Resting Grinch face.
You're so clover!
Distill my beating heart.
"Have an eggs-tra special Easter day."
Our love started with a Hershey’s Kiss.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa? A Christmas Quacker.
You’re as sweet as Pi.
Are you a card?
We're perfectly suited for each other
What genre of music do elves love to listen to? Wrap.
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.
What did Santa name his dog? Santa Paws!
You're the ruler of my heart.
This is snow laughing matter!
Thank brew very much.
“Oh, deer! Christmas is here!”
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
It takes one to snow one.
Here today, lepre-gone tomorrow.
How does santa get his Reindeer to fly? He uses Red Bull because it gives you wings!
You raise the bar.
I won’t let you slip through my Butter Fingers.
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