A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
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