Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?
He was a small-arms dealer.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.