It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.