If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
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