What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
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