"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
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