What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
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