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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
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