What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.