Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Go to BabaMail
