What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
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