"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.