Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
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