What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
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