I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What did Van Gogh name the ear he didn't cut off?
Van Stay.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Go to BabaMail
