What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut? A Barbecue.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out. I think he’s going through a rough patch.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I just was born with mine.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "You know, one would have been enough."
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret? Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye Turns out she was seeing someone else.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied. It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut? Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.” Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What kind of hair explodes? Bangs.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?” "Awful.”
My wife hates the colour of her hair... She's dyeing to change it.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot!
A nose visited its home town. It was overcome with nostril-gia.
What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes. It was PG.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair... She thought she would dye.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night but I’ve seen stranger things.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted It’s my 2020 vision
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader. The look on his face was priceless.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead. Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew? "IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
What do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes. When they asked what's wrong I said: “I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis? A brush with death