To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
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