My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
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