My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
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