Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? That hertz.
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
How Many Engineers Does It Take to Assemble a Futon?
Three…and a psychologist!
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
Why was the software engineer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!