What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
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