I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.