I really hate straws.
They suck.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
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