My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Go to BabaMail
