How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
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