I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
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