How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
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