I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
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