Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Go to BabaMail
