When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.