What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
Penne Lane.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
Who holds sermons during Sunday in Italy?
The Pasta.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
Did you hear ISIS is spreading to Italy?
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
You heard about the Spanish woman that is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni.
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
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