Welcome to Spain Puns!

So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”

He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain buy outdoor equipment?
The Basque Pro Shop.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation.
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.

So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.