Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
Why does it take so long for the EU to figure out how much Italy owes them every year?
Hey, ease up. Rome wasn't billed in a day.
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
French people give me the crepes.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
French, French Revolution
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
I saw this beautiful tower in Italy..
It was a Pisa art!
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
Why did Italy surrender in WW2?
Because Italics aren't bold.
Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?
His name was Only One Cannoli.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
Go to BabaMail
