If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
Genoa bout the bridge collapse in Italy?
Ah well, we won't go over it then.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
Half of Italy is complaining about the coronavirus and the other half is laughing not taking it seriously.
All they do is cheese and wine.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
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