There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
French people give me the crepes.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
How do cats say goodbye in Italy?
Miao.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
This is the first year I’m not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
French, French Revolution
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
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