When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
Can I be Candide with you?
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
French people give me the crepes.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
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