I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
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