If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.
Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.
Why do people say "hit the showers"
What did the showers ever do to you?
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?'
He said 'No, just up to your neck'
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
What do you call a distant shower sponge?
Aloofah.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
I was washing the car with my son, until he said...
“Dad, please, can’t you just use a sponge?”
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.
Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.
I had to unclog my sink today.
I found it to be very draining.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.
What do you call spooky mascara
Mascarea.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
Only a**holes use bidets.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
What do you call two beautiful cat that sit together in the basin?
Purrfectly in sink.
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed...
To be honest this is pretty de-molar-izing.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
When does makeup run?
When you mascare it off.
Go to BabaMail
