Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
Only a**holes use bidets.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
I will only give someone a kleenex if I've known them for a long time.
I guess you could say I have trust-tissues.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
All farts...are laughing gas.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."