My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
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