I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
I will only give someone a kleenex if I've known them for a long time.
I guess you could say I have trust-tissues.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
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