After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
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