Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
I will only give someone a kleenex if I've known them for a long time.
I guess you could say I have trust-tissues.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
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