What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Why does it cost $1 to use the urinal at the Department of Homeland Security?
If you pee something, pay something.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
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