What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
Only a**holes use bidets.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?
The lavatory.
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
Go to BabaMail
