Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
Only a**holes use bidets.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Go to BabaMail
