My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
Go to BabaMail
