Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Go to BabaMail
