Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
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