What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
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