My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
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