Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
Go to BabaMail
