Summer went swimmingly this year.
What's the best way to avoid eating too many Thanksgiving leftovers? Quit cold turkey.
What did the skydiver say in autumn? I love the fall.
Which monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein.
Why are wintertime fortune tellers so reliable?
They can see what is mitten in the stars.
Autumn is full of pumpkins, it is a gourd-geous time of the year.
Why do bananas like to use sunscreen?
Because they peel!
Let’s shell-ebrate good times and tan lines.
What is the shortest month of the year?
M-A-Y.
How Rudolf you to say that!
What’s the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls?
Seasoning.
What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone.
The summer sun makes me as happy as a clam at high tide.
What do you call it when you get mugged on the vernal equinox?
The first robbin’ of spring!
What do you call a glove combined with a snake?
Smitten.
What do you call ten arctic hares hopping backward through the snow?
A receding hare line.
The couple who married during autumn lived apple-ly ever after!
No one likes eating outside in the winter.
It’s frost come, frost served.
Why does Foghorn Leghorn take it slow when April rolls around?
Because he’s no spring chicken!
In one Fall swoop, it's autumn again!
What do you get when someone stares coldly at you?
Glare ice.
Make your own decisions this summer, don’t give in to pier pressure.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell
The aspiring comedian has an unbe-leaf-able collection of autumn jokes, but they are all falling flat.
Don't even chai.
What kind of soup can you make with cool beans?
Chilly!
They say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Ewe might say it leaves sheepishly.
The abdominal snowman is just a snowman with a six-pack.
How do you know that it's too cold outside for a picnic?
You chip your tooth on the soup.
What’s the biggest difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool’s Day?
On one you’re thankful but on the other you’re prankful.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What does a bee do when it is extremely hot?
It takes off its yellow jacket!
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
The most suitable way to bake a pie in autumn is to bake it to pie-fection!
My friend asked me whether I was ready to pick apples this fall? I apple-solutely was.
Did you see that all the snow and ice are melting?
I thaw!
If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season? Fall.
What do you call a dude who really likes autumn?
A fall guy!
What do you call a cold crocodile in winter? A refrigerator.
I was at an office conference this past autumn. I made a new friend and when I asked for his contact details, he said, "Here is my November!"
When winter comes, this town turns into an iceburg.
Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt Artica!
Fall arrives, and all hell bakes loose.
Why isn't your daughter married? Because a gourd man is hard to find.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
After all is sled and done.
What do you call a family member who works at a gas station? A pump-kin!
I'm acorn-y person.
Who’s at the door?
It’s snowbody.
The tree got so tired of fighting with autumn, that he said, "Enough is enough! I'm leaf-ing".
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