I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.