"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
All farts...are laughing gas.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!